Hi, I'm John

I think you’re really great.
Super To Meet You

I'm A Comedy Writer

I Write Comedy

Some of This Is True

I am a comedy writer who writes funny things for people who have a sense of humor. I have a 3rd degree black-belt. I think the Zombie Apocalypse is imminent, and it’s going to be awesome. It’s soda, not pop or tonic. I have 2 Master’s degrees. I am the real King of Norway. I can’t burp the whole alphabet, but I can usually get through the vowels.

  • Writing Comedy 80%
  • Punching Mofos 60%
  • Worshiping Bacon 50%
  • Basking in Glory 90%
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