As a man who likes the ladies, I have always been perplexed by the bathroom habits of women. Do women poop? Why does my girlfriend never seem to fart? When girls go to the bathroom together is it because they enjoy sharing the smell of feces?
To my fellow bros out there, I am here to decode the woman poop mysteries that have perplexed you all these years.
1. Women do poo, it’s called a period. Look it up.
2. That strange smell in your girlfriend’s bathroom is called “product.” Nobody knows what it’s for.
3. Ladies fart glitter.
4. All female b-holes are completely hairless.
5. Women go the bathroom together to perform strange rituals and to laugh at the size of your penis. Sorry.
6. If your girlfriend has to pee a lot it’s because she’s hopped up on crank.
7. Women get cramps once a month from holding in their turds on dates.
8. Eleanor Roosevelt was the longest running First Lady of The United States. She pooped a lot.
9. The song Drop it Like it’s Hot was a suggestion for excellent bowel health.
10. Women refer to pooping among themselves as, “throwing down some brown.”